Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Week 9 - Appointments, Appointments, Appointments! Hypos. Hypos. Hypos!

So, week 9.

I had my first appointment at the hospital last week.

I went again on Monday.

I saw the midwife the next day.

I've gone to the GP and made an appointment for later this week to use a 24 hour blood pressure monitor.

I've made an appointment to get my eyes checked.

The diabetes nurse has rang twice, and I am to see her in between hospital appointments.

I'm back at the hospital next week.

And this is how it will be, with appointments increasing in intensity and urgency as time goes on.

It would be nice, if every time I went to the hospital, I got to see the actual consultant that I'm booked in to see, instead of one of his 'registrars'.

Definition of 'Registrar' - Barely 20 year old woman, always skinny with a snooty expression. Has read a couple of books and now considers herself  as'specializing' in diabetes. She worships 'targets' and presumes if 'targets' are not met that it must be due to copious cake eating. 

The first appointment had me meeting with the 'Registrar', who literally gasped at my after meal readings (they were over 8, but by 2 hours post meal I was hypoing), and proceeded to increase my insulin to carb ratios. I questioned her and suggested that I would hypo a lot more on those ratios, but nope, the TARGETS MUST BE MET.

So I did as she said, increased my ratios and then spent the next few days having hypo after hypo after hypo until I was a big, sweaty, exhausted mess.

This week, I actually got to see the consultant, who (guess what) put my ratios down to what they were before! So a bit middle finger to the 'Registrar', I WAS right after all.

My Hba1c (which is a measure of your average blood sugar over the past 3 months) is now at 6.3. Not bad. Not bad at all. My aim is for that to be in the 'normal zone' (i.e 5.8) by 12 weeks, so that I know that my blood sugars during the developmental period were the same as a non-diabetics, and therefore if anything goes wrong, it won't be because of the diabetes. It will (almost) absolve me of guilt.

Also, another positive thing, was that my suggestion of changing to a pump did not make the consultant fall off his chair. He seemed to take it as a perfectly reasonable suggestion, and said if I still suffered with hypos then he would get the diabetic nurse team to move forward with it. (YEY!). The only thing is, I'm rather picky. I know that tubing hanging out of me will piss me off no end. I want a tubeless pump. The OMNIPOD, which is a little plastic pod that sticks to your skin. It looks amazing, and of course it would give me so much flexibility with my control, fine tuning by background insulin hour by hour, being able to suspend it whilst exercising or when hypo. I don't know if they'll give me the choice of picking a pump, but we'll see.

Fingers crossed. 

Thursday, 15 May 2014

Scan Day!

Week 8

Scan day!

Well, it’s confirmed. 

There is a definite little blob growing in my uterus, and that blob has a nice strong heartbeat. I AM pregnant! It’s not just some weird dream or something I imagined. It’s such a relief to see it growing there, especially as I’ve had literally ziltch pregnancy symptoms.

Another good outcome of today is that my obstetrician looked through my notes, saw what happened with the boy’s birth, and immediately suggested a planned C-section. It is such a massive relief that I don’t have to fight for it. I had my notes and print outs of research all ready and waiting, so that I could back up my hysterical sobbing/begging with cold, hard facts but in the end there was no need. She suggested it with no prompting from me at all. Phew. 

The down side of today is the length of time spent here in the hospital. Of course my hospital phobia had me all in a fluster, with a high blood sugar after breakfast and a couple of high blood pressure readings (140 over 106!), meaning I was red flagged, and sent all over the hospital searching for a 24 hour blood pressure monitor (which of course there were none available). I’m now sitting in a room having a profile done. I think it’s lowered already, pretty sure it came right down as soon as soon as the C-section was agreed on.  It’s hard to relax when I know hubby is stuck at home with the boy and trying to run the business as well. I was only expecting to be here a couple of hours.

Note to self – learn some meditation/calming techniques, or else I’m going to be doing this a lot! 

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

7 weeks...

This is torturous...

Waiting for that first scan. 

It is really there? Is it OK? Has all this effort been worth it?

The diabetes has been OK. OK but not perfect.

At least this time I am more educated. I now know how to count carbs. I now limit my carbs. I have well tested correction doses that work and I know that if I hypo I must eat 15g of carbs exactly and no more. This is instead of taking 'rage' boluses that send me crashing, initiating a roller coaster of lows and then highs when I end up eating the whole fridge in a panic (and then rage bolus again).

It's not been perfect but I'm handling it. I feel calm. 

I know my HbA1c (a test that tells me my average blood sugar over the past 3 months) will be much improved, and well into the target zone. I'm taking my massive dose of folic acid, along with my other pregnancy vitamins and omega oils. I've had that niggling infected tooth removed (there was no saving it and it was just a ticking time bomb waiting to f*ck up my blood sugars if it abscessed). So, I'm doing everything I can.

I just want to SEE it, this baby, to see that it's real and that it's tiny heart is beating strongly. My first scan is at 8 weeks. 

Next week. 

It seems an age away right now. Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock